Unexpected tales from the toilet

In bars and clubs, toilets are more than just places to relieve yourself. They are also places that people go to socialise, take a break, to make sure they are still looking good and, surprisingly often, where they go to hide! We wanted to find out more about the goings-on in late-night washrooms, so we headed out to a popular bar and dance joint in Munich and asked some of the staff and customers for their funniest or oddest stories from the restrooms of the night.

And we weren’t disappointed with the results! Nearly everyone we asked had a tale to tell and it seemed like many of the most important moments of people’s nights out happened in the washrooms. Here are some of the – more polite – highlights.

1. The Getaway

Imagine that your date is going so badly that you find yourself hiding in the toilet, unable to face reappearing? This happened to our Judy. 6 minutes into her online date she realised that she was on a date with a monster and had to run. “Within 6 minutes he’d started telling me a story about how he was once in a party with 3 naked girls in a sauna, and the evening just got worse from there.” – Cowering in the ladies, she dialled for a taxi and texted her friend. She still had the message to share:

“I’ve ordered a taxi from the toilet”
“I can’t face going back out there”

2. Push or Pull

As the night wears on sometimes we can get a little frayed around the edges, lose our orientation and panic can set in. Vera told how she once went to the toilet in the middle of a night’s clubbing and got trapped – or so she thought…

After having gone to the loo, Vera wanted to leave the toilet and pushed the cubicle door open but it wouldn’t budge – locked solid. She kicked it and banged it, but it seemed immovable. Maybe someone had deliberately locked her in? Really panicking now, she started climbing out the top of the cubicle and trying to slither in between the narrow gap between the door frame and the ceiling. As she did this another girl strode into the toilet and walked straight into Vera’s cubicle, letting out a scream as she saw her dangling precariously above. – But proving that the door wasn’t locked – she just had to pull not push!

3. The case of the missing trousers

Matt told how a very drunk customer once walked into his toilet and came out only about 30 seconds later with no trousers on. As much as his friends teased him it took him some minutes to comprehend his predicament. When he did, he could not account for it. What’s more, the missing trousers were nowhere to be found, despite a thorough search of the premises by all. The poor sans-culotte had to sneak into a waiting taxi and scurry home.

4. Fate knows no barriers

Sandra told how she met her husband in a toilet. She was on an online date and it wasn’t going well, but she spied the man of her dreams on the table opposite. When he got up and walked away she thought he was leaving and followed him, determined that he was the man for her. Turned out he was just going to the loo. But, already pumped up, Sandra threw caution to the wind, followed him into the gentleman’s toilet and introduced herself next to the hand basins. Today they are married with two children – history doesn’t recall what became of Sandra’s original date.

5. Asleep on the job

We’ve probably all dozed off on the toilet at some point in our lives, but imagine spending an entire night there. This happened to a chap called Matthew we met. He claimed to have been woken up in a club by the cleaning lady at 10 am the next day! Now that’s a sound sleeper for you.

6. Carousel date

One reveller claimed he heard tell of a story involving a man on a date in a revolving restaurant who got a little confused. Admiring the view from the top of a tele-tower, he suddenly felt the call of nature and scurried off to the toilet. When he emerged he strolled back to his seat unaware that the restaurant had been revolving while his toilet had remained stationary. He was then quite embarrassed to discover the blond lady he had sat down next too was not the blond lady he had started his evening with – she was on the other side of the restaurant!

7. What lies undiscovered in the murky depths

Lots of people have dropped things down the toilet. It happens surprisingly frequently, especially with phones in bars and clubs where people are often on the phone or texting while they’re in the toilet. But most people realise their mistake. Andy reported that in his 5 years working at the bar the cleaning staff had found several phones and lots of jewellery in and around toilets. Most strikingly of all, he reported an occasion where the cleaners had found car keys inside the toilet bowl – and then found the car they belonged to outside! It took all day before the customer crept in sheepishly that evening to claim them back.

Tales from the toilet…
In bars and clubs, toilets are more than just places to relieve yourself. They are also places that people go to socialise, take a breather, to make sure they are still looking good and, surprisingly often, where they go to hide!

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